We're on The Knot. I need to calm down.

We bought an ad on theknot.com, hoping we'd pick up some steam in the New York City market.

It's been two weeks and we haven't heard a peep yet. We've tracked dozens of hits on our Web site, but the only invitation orders we've received have been from our Google ads (thanks, customers!)

I mentioned this to my friendly The Knot representative, who reminded me that it's only been two weeks. I'll thank her for not adding the word "jackass" to her response.

But suddenly I am empathizing with all those jumpy, impatient businesspeople I've dealt with over the years at my day job who couldn't get me to write about their dumb little ventures fast enough.

"Uh, yes...we ARE the leading supplier of dog-wig solutions in the tri-county area, so we think a front-page story would be appropriate. Can we get that in tomorrow?"

Wow, did those calls irk me. And I always sort of understood that they are just looking out for their business. But now I understand, in italics, no less...

When you put everything you have into a business -- your free time, your credit limit and most of your cash -- you quickly lose patience. I want results, dammit! Bring to me wealthy wedding planners. This I command!

Of course, it would be foolish to actually say things like that. Good thing no one reads this. Also, I was kidding earlier about my day job. I actually work here.