Friday, June 1, 2007

Dogs suck (A-Team edition)

We keep the dogs in the back of the house when we're gone. If not, things get eaten: socks left on the bedroom floor, TV remote controls, chunks of furniture (I used to really love that armoire, now it is dead to me).

Oh, yes, and doors... Specifically the door that is supposed to keep the dogs in the part of the house that includes the kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and the office. It's a cheap, pine, bi-fold door that moves on a track screwed into the door jamb.

It is only useful as firewood now.

Here's how the dogs worked together as a crack commando unit so they can cause property damage and sleep on the Forbidden Couch:

Over the last three years, Roger ("Face" -- he's the Dirk Benedict of dogs) has patiently nosed the bottom corner of the door and chewed little bits off it whenever he could get his teeth around something. In time he has removed about an inch and a half of wood.

This is where Maddy comes in -- Roger is like the artillery that lays the ground work for Maddy, the forward infantry.

Maddy (played by the late George Peppard) gets her nose underneath the gap Roger deliciously created, and, through patient trial and error, became quite good at knocking the door off its track and breaking through to the living room.

How do I know which dog does which? I know it's Roger eating the door because he just does those sorts of things -- it's more his personality. Also there is frequently wood in his poop.

And Maddy is the expert at knocking down the door because sometimes Roger -- we should have named him Dr. Hawking -- accidentally closes himself in the bathroom. We will come home to find him waiting patiently behind the bathroom door (he hasn't tried to eat it yet) and Maddy will greet us in the kitchen, fresh off leaving tufts of fur and dog smell on the Forbidden Couch.

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